Monday, November 16, 2009


Attended my cousin’s wedding last Saturday. It’s a mix marriage and it’s complicated. Well it is actually can be simple, it just that both side don’t really know each other’s culture I think. I myself was shocked in a lot of things but just be open, and here I share with you part of it.

The bridegroom is my cousin (we are sino, Dusun mix with Chinese) while the bride is a beautiful lady from Penampang, Sabah which is a pure Kadazan. I’d attended their engagement last year and what was interesting there, when they discussing about the dowry. Most of Sabahan might know that, to marry a Penampang lady is the most expensive than marry with any Sabahan lady in other district. What is the logic and history there, I don’t know but that was happening since long time ago until today. The moral here is, if you are a guy who has the intention to marry a Kadazan Penampang lady, do filled up and ready a full pocket. But honestly my opinion, to get marry is not selling daughter anyway and the most important is the couple’s life after the wedding ceremony.

My cousin and his beloved wife registered their marriage on 09.09.2009, a beautiful date and congrats to them. Last Saturday morning, they went to church but I was not attended. For your info, we and my aunt’s family are Buddha. May be my cousin converted? I’m not sure on that coz nobody informed me. Then there was their wedding lunch in Dewan Kebudayaan Penampang on last Saturday afternoon.

Bride and bridegroom wearing traditional Kadazan costume. There were flower girls, food (self service), drinks, invited band singer, dancer, local alcohol (montoku), beer, wine, decoration, bride’s guest, bridegroom’s guest and so on.

It was quite different from our culture and honestly, this is the first time I’d attended a kadazan wedding style. What’s the different from us here was, we normally invited and only rent speaker, band or may be karaoke. The band or karaoke is for guest to sing, to perform and dance, we were not invited any singer and dancer. And yes all my aunts and uncles are sporting and actually they love to dance. It was fun.

And there was one more session, where the guest (might be bride’s relatives) stand in two rows and ready to dance Sumazau.

While everyone dancing, someone will pull both bride and bridegroom into the middle, both of them dance in the middle and they’ve been serve a jug (and maybe more) of drink. It might be beer or montoku. That is actually a tradition for a new couple and there is the rules which anyone who been serve the drink, must respect and drink it.

Pity my cousin, he doesn’t know dancing and he normally doesn’t drink. He could drink little bit unfortunately he has heart problem at the moment and not fit enough to drink more alcohol. We as the guest just sat in a group and look at him coz we didn’t know that we actually can represent and drink for him. Gosh.. I just knew it today when I asked a kadazan friend of mine. So the moral here is, learn other people’s culture and be ready before attending any event. If your spouse is not same culture with you, inform and remind him/her everything so that he/she is ready. Be open minded and not complaining / blaming on any mistake.

Hopefully my cousin is OK, didn’t saw him when we took our step to go home. And he will hold another wedding ceremony this coming Saturday in Kota Belud follow the Chinese + kampung tradition. Why so many times? Already went to church then in Dewan then in Kota Belud again? Don’t ask me, I don’t know about that, I’m just attending and go celebrate the happiness with them. Wedding ceremony in Kota Belud has its unique style again and it must be fun, I promise will take more photos and I’ll share more story with you guys about it in the following week. Stay tune.

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