Wednesday, June 9, 2010


I'm still keep on asking myself, is this what I really want?

I never told people regarding the place I'm staying before. Afterall I don't like to talk bad about my own love one or my family, no matter what they are someone always related to me. Talking bad about them is only making myself more embarrassing.

I'd stayed with my sister and her family. Honestly this is the first time I would tell people that I actually never feel home staying there, but I'd spend more than 4 years staying with them. Still wanna say thank you for my sis & my in law provided a room for me, eventhough I'd prefered to stay outside. Well that's my real feeling, I never tell anyone until today but maybe that is normal feeling for a single person staying with someone who has family. It just the right time for me to move out since my nieces getting bigger. Just imagine that, the house has 3 rooms. 1 room for me sharing with 1 of my unmarried sister, 1 room for cupboards (store) and maid, and another big room fit my sis's 1 whole family. 6 person in one big room you get that? The oldest of my niece in that house is in primary 6 at the moment and going to secondary school next year. Aren't them need to have a separate room?

Yesterday, I officially moved out from that house. It's time for me to move since I already someone's wife. I packed my things happily and I was excited, until my unmarried sis came in. She stared at me for quite a while without saying any single words. She was speechless but her face was telling me thousand of lonely & sad words. My feeling changed. I didn't move very far from them, for sure we still can meet anytime but it's a totally different feeling there, different from sending a family member to study oversea. Indeed. Really really an un-explainable hard feeling. Guys who getting married might not feel this I think, I'm not sure about other ladies but for me, we really feel that way and it's hard.

A pillow that had accompanied me since I was a student 10 years ago from Taiping - Kelana Jaya - KK til now. Move with me my lovy pillow..

Moved in to the new place safely, single bed to queen size bed, boleh lah kampung-kampung.. I slept with my love one next to me but I didn't slept well and I cried for the whole night thinking of my sis expression on me yesterday evening. I know she is getting lonely & desparate to move out too. I'm sad but I hope both of us can adopt and use to it soon.

Woke up this morning, dressed up is different mirror before I came to work. It still weird for me.

I don't know how long will I stay here anyway. I don't know what other changes will happen on me. I'm not sure how will I feel tonight and the following days. At the moment I still feel sad. I become greedy and I want everyone I love around me. Can that be?


Etine Herms said...

Wis, been there, done that. I mean the moving out thingy. Before i got the job at MKA, i stayed with my Aunt's family..they are really kind & nice to me but in the end i have to move out since they have this quite big family and i feel like im just 'menumpang'. i'd move out but still in the same neighbourhood. but i guess 'some of the family member' dont understand why i move out & i guess they dont understand my feeling if i stay there 'freely'...
Btw, congrats on ur new home & g'luck getting use to it :)

Lizeewong said...

I know how you feel. My sister and I were very close and when I first moved out, it was really hard for both of us. BUt now, we're okay and we're still best buds so I'm sure in time you'll feel better. It's a normal transition. Cheers.

Wiskies said...

thanks kris.. I hope I'll use to it. Memang lain ba kalo stay free.

Yeah Lizee, what I feel now I just wish that I'm rich, buy my own house and bring my unmarried sister stay with me again.